You might want to get familiar with some of the more obscure terms used in [tos] before seeing it, bitches.

Alice Ripley - Unbelievable Broadway actress and belter. As in, “Alice Ripley was f’in fierce in Side Show.”

Ass-broke - Without funds. Used like, “If I don’t get that check from Paper Mill, I’m gonna be ass-broke, y’all.”

Bagels and Yox - 1951 Jewish review that ran on Broadway around the same time as Borscht Capades.

Betty Comden and Adolph Green - Book writers and lyricist of many musicals. As in, “Adolph, quit fartin’ around and help Betty write those Will Rogers Follies lyrics.”

Bitches - Friends, pals, loved ones. As in, “I appreciate you bitches being so supportive at my grandma’s funeral.”

Brazilian wax - Depilatory treatment that hurts like a mother f’in bitch.

Bus and truck - The tour of a show that usually plays short gigs in many cities. Heidi may say, “Y’all, should I audition for that bus and truck of Seussical?”

Commodore 64 - Computer released in August of 1982. As in, “Hunter, I just got Donkey Kong for my C64!”

Dan Pessano - “Daddy Warbucks” to Heidi’s “Annie” in 1982. Heidi may say, “Y’all, should I audition for that production of Hello, Dolly! that Dan Pessano is directing?”

Dinah Manoff - (See “Empty Nest”).

Dixon Ticonderoga - A soft, number 2 pencil. Used like, “Jeff prefers to write songs with a Dixon Ticonderoga, not an f’in Faber-Castell.”

Doc Hollywood - 1991 film featuring Michael J. Fox, currently running every hour on the hour on TBS.

Empty Nest - (See Dinah Manoff).

Henry, Sweet Henry - The best damned Don Ameche musical ever.

John Cameron Mitchell - Talented creator of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Used like, “Susan thinks by saying John Cameron Mitchell’s name in the show it increases her chances of meeting him.”

Ken Billington - Lighting designer of A Doll’s Life, Annie Warbucks and [title of show].

Kwamina - Interracial musical from 1961 with music and lyrics by Richard Adler. Used like, “You can borrow my Kwamina record, but I’ll kill you if you scratch it.”

Lynda Carter - The most beautiful actress in the world. For example, “If Jeff wasn’t gay, he’d have a serious boner for Lynda Carter.”

Mamie Duncan-Gibbs - Talented theatre actress and star of Chicago. One of Mamie’s friends may say, “Mamie Duncan-Gibbs, that’s my girl!”

Mary Stout - Lovable Broadway actress. As in “Mary Stout was excellent as “Enid” in A Change in the Heir.”

Me doots - A variant pronunciation of “my doubts.” As in, “I hope this [tos]sary helps explain [title of show], but I have me doots.”

Mexcellent - When something is both Mexican and excellent. Used like, “My travel agent Eileen said Cancun was Mexcellent this time of year.”

Pink Sawdust - A deodorizing powder developed to absorb and neutrilize vomit odors.

Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 - PC game for lonesome nerds. Jeff may say, “My Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 upgrade better have arrived in the mail today or I’m going to be sad.”

Roma Torre - NY One anchor and notable theatre critic. Our press agent may say, “I hope Roma Torre doesn’t rip [title of show] a new a’hole.”

Seafood Mare - Chelsea eatery featuring outdoor dining. A Chelsea boy may say, “I was sitting outside at Seafood Mare when--oh, my god, there’s Tim Gunn.”
(see Tim Gunn)

S'luck - An appropriate response to “Wish us luck!”

Smell-em-ups - Any scented room sanitizer.

Smell-O-Vision - A 60’s invention that allows audience members to smell what they’re watching. As in, “When Susan eats Chinese food, it’s fortunate for the audience that the show isn’t in Smell-O-Vision.”

Starlight Express - Andrew Lloyd Weber + roller skates = AMAZING!

The Gray Lady - The New York Times. As in, “The Gray Lady could take the Post in a cage match any day.”

The O'Neill Center - Connecticut-based summer camp for grown-up theatre nerds. Hunter may say, “I made out hard with that dude at The O’Neill Center.”

The Rink - Kander and Ebb musical from 1984 that starred Chita and Liza. Where’s a time machine when you need it?

Tim Gunn - Design mentor of TV’s “Project Runway.” Used like, “I saw Tim Gunn walk by Seafood Mare.”

Tippy Turtle - Iconic reptile used as a litmus test for aspiring artists. For example, “My “Tippy Turtle” drawing wasn’t so good, but my “Pete the Pirate” totally rocked.”

Word - Street vernacular. Short for “word to your mother.” As in, “Word.”

©2008. [title of show]. all rights reserved.