I'm obsessed with this! Thanks to Martha for sharing her pumpkin carver with us!

Today's Health & Safety Tips:

To avoid getting chopped up by a mutant axe murderer, don't have sex with a counsellor at a haunted summer camp tonight.

Fight cancer with tea: Tea contains antioxidants which neutralize "free radicals" that are thought to cause cancer. Next time you order refreshing iced tea, enjoy and know you may be fighting cancer.

To stir up Halloween family fun and avoid choking on razor-blade-filled apples, allow younger siblings to taste-test all treats for tampering!

Hey, vampire! Protect your skin from the sun with a block that screens both UVB and UVA light. Make sure your sunscreen contains both titanium dioxide and zinc oxide. There is no perfect sunblock, but wearing any lotion with a SPF of 15 to 30 is still effective.

For Tom in Long Beach: Don't be unnecessarily terrorized by demonic children. Carefully label your videos to steer clear of watching cursed videotapes and DVDs. If you discover you've accidentally screened a screamer, easy workarounds include unplugging the phone for seven days or duplicating the tape. Good luck!

Hope you guys get lots of tweats today!

Hey, Everybody!

It's your last chance to bid on a meal with the cast of [title of show]. Don't be bitter, bidders! Get to bidding!

Maybe, if you're super lucky, Hunter will eat food out of Susan's mouth like a baby bird! Come on!! What more do you need!??

Who are these bidders? Who is auntmarilyn16? Who is 818chriss? Why do they want to have a meal with us? What will they order? I'm going to have to recommend the Cobb salad. It's deluxe.

Why did j.glick only bid once? Did he/she get scared of the possibility of Hunter eating food out of my mouth in public (again)? Why didn't jjarush bid again? Doesn't he want to take us to Per Se? Is he afraid I'll eat glazed quail with caramelized fennel bulbs out of Hunter's mouth (again)?

Looking forward to dining with you soon...

Tick Tock...


...seriously...the suspense is killing me...

Ok, it's more like 11 to about 6:15, but the relevant info is that I'm temping again at Susan's corporate office. sigh...

Susan's the best boss in the world, and before she's done she will have hired me, Larry, and our asm Tom, to be her minions. She's a smarty. If she can't do [title of show] at The Vineyard anymore, she'll bring [title of show] to her at work. It's a brilliant plan.

You know what's funny? Running into people on the street that are listening to you on their IPods and then going to do data entry. I know that sounds so gross and believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing out that life is weird. I'm actually very happy to be there working and resting la voce before our phoenix rises again.

I was watching reruns of Project Runway on Bravo the other night and they are running a promo for '6 Feet Under', and in the promo a character asks, "Why do people die?' and Peter Krause says, "To make life important."

Why do I have to temp? To make [title of show] important.

Word Peter Krause, word.

Hey! I wanted to make sure you got your invitation to this.
We're appearing in DONT QUIT YOUR NIGHT JOB at Joe's Pub this Thursday, October 25 at 11:30PM. It's all for a great cause.

Hunter and I will be performing a piece originally created by me and Rebecca Finnegan back in the day. If you come, you'll get to see another side of our work...a side you never asked to see in the first place.

And if you can stay awake that late, please bring a long, sharp, pokey stick with you because. Cause I'm going to be half-asleep and I'm gonna need to be poked with the pokey stick to stay awake.

Hope to see you there!

Hey you all,

I've been wrestling with a fall cold for a couple of weeks and now that I'm over it, Heidi and Jeff are starting the wheezing and coughing with the runny nose and red eyes and sleepy brains. I feel for them but I'm happy that I'm finally done with all of that.

As you know we've been getting together for various public showings - the biggest by far was the awesome Actor's Fund Benefit of Whorehouse. What you all don't know is that Jeff and Hunter have put together a new opening number for our show that will go into the show if we ever get another chance to perform [tos]. We videotaped it to show Kevin M. what it might look like and I'm going to share it with you here. It's kind of a secret so don't tell anyone about it. It's just between us tossers. Enjoy!



Isn't that awesome? I can watch that over and over. Jeff wins nerd of the year for noticing that Captain Cool is played by Michael Lembeck. He is a big TV director in L.A. (Ev. Loves Raymond/Friends, etc.). He also is famous for playing McKenzie Phillips' hubby on One Day at a Time.

I can't wait to get into those shiny pants!

Yes, [title of show] is proud to announce our new line of frozen cuisine! Now you can enjoy [tos] without the fuss of prepping, cooking, and cleaning! Enjoy:

Jeff's jerk chicken!

Hunter's krispy katfish with a k!

Heidi's pork mess!

Larry's lunchables!

Susan's sampler with a side of nothing!

And our favorite...[tosser] egg and peanut surprise!

All of our dinners meet USDA regulations...but are made in China.

So enjoy [tos] for dinner! Jeffy and Hunty do every night!

Okay...okay..so there is no line of cuisine...yet! [tos] for dinner blog is to announce that you guys have the chance to have dinner with [title of show] for a Vineyard Theatre auction! So go bid..and we'll have fun times for a kick ass theatre cause. Why? 'Cause. Did you catch that? cause...'cause...a play on words that I ...zzzzzzzzzzz

Go to e-bay! Bid it up [tossers]! Bid it up!

Best evening ever!

I swear.

So tonight, I'm on the C train on my way downtown to meet my cute husband for a chilly fall date, and as I'm sitting there, minding my own beezwax, listening to Imogen Heap on my IPod, I had this random thought:

I wonder if I know anyone of this train?

I looked to my right casually and glanced across the car, and then my eyes stopped on none other than Jeff Bowen. Not someone random from an audition, or someone my husband works with, but JEFF BOWEN. One of my BFFs. Come on. That's weird, right?

I can't help but wonder if this could be the work of the Golden Pony...

I was trying to find something about "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", but instead I could only find this....

If you're not into foul language, then please don't press play. I suppose if you're not into the foul language, you shouldn't be readin' our mother effin blog, now shouldja?

Last night, Heidi, Camien and I went to see MARIE ANTOINETTE at the meevies. The French can boo all they want, but I enjoyed this film. If you like watching sunlight streaming over heavy silk taffeta trailing over rolling fields while little lambs and petit abeilles nibble wildflowers and ladies nibble pink cakelets, this is the meevie for you. I recommend seeing this meevie on an Autumn night, then going to a great little bistro for cakes and tea. Nummers!

PS: Am I crazy, or did I see a pair of pink Converse in Marie Antoinette's pile of shoes? Neither Camien nor Heidi saw it, but I don't think I imagined it...Anybody? Nobody?

DUI -
Enjoy.

This is a belated shout-out to Laura Wright! She was at our CD signing at Tower Records (R.I.P.) this summer and she came up to me and told me about how happy she was that we mentioned Ruthless the Musical in our show. She told me that she and her mom love the show and I told her that I'd been looking for a CD of the show for long time. It went out-of-print years ago and I told her that I couldn't afford its ebay prices on my off-Bway salary. She said she'd get me the real thing one day.

So, cut to the last week of shows at the Vineyard and Laura shows up with a still-in-the-plastic- mint CD of Ruthless the Musical as a present. Laura is September's [tosser] of the Month as far as I'm concerned. I know I should let my cohorts weigh in on their pick for tosser of the month, but Laura has my vote.
I should note that Jayson Jarushewsky is August's winner for sending me those Superhero Stamps.

Feel free to become a [tosser] of the month by helping me fill my cast recording CD collection: Still on a quest for Sophisticated Ladies, Kwamina, Little Mary Sunshine, The Madwoman of Central Park West, Milk & Honey, Wildcat, Scrambled Feet, Fanny and Whoop-Up.

Am I blatantly soliciting hand-outs from fans? I think I am. Don't judge me, Susan. You can always have the fans send you a container home or a Duran Duran tour jacket.

Last night I was on 45th street under the marquis of the Imperial Theatre and a couple walked by looking across the street to the Jacobs theatre where Martin Short Fame Becomes Me is playing and the theatre-going lady asked:

"Martin Short?! Is he still in that?"

Genius.

Ok, so I know you all know that I was Annie in Fresno when I was 10, but did you also know that Andrea McArdle was Annie too?!! And that means that there were 2 Annies for the price of one on that Jersey Boys stage the night of the Whorehouse benefit!!!

Seriously, if y'all know [tos] real well, you know that 'A Way Back To Then' gives her a shout out. Much like Susan's obsession with Terrence Mann, I, along with the rest of the young world of the late 70s/early 80s, was completely entranced with A-Mac. So much so that I forced my mother to take me to a MASSIVE cattle call audition for the movie and, amazingly, made it down to one of the final callbacks but was eventually eliminated 'cause I was too darn tall. (Stupid Aileen Quinn. shorty...) But I did manage to snag the role in our local dinner theater's production. (Also starring Dan Pessano as D.WBucks...little trivia for ya...)

So for the first time in my life last week, I came face to face with Andrea McArdle, and what did I do? Nothing. I was scared that she'd heard it all before... I have issues with the star fucking. It makes me feel feelings. There also just wasn't the moment. I did talk to Jennifer Hudson and Constantine. I did feel completely comfortable shootin' the poo with Richard Kind and Bob Martin. I did jump right in there with Emily Skinner. But when it came time to say hello to Andrea, I just couldn't do it. What's up with that? At one point I was in an elevator with her and Hunter poked me as if to say, "Say something Dumb Dumb!", but I was shy.

I don't think she came to see [title of show], which is a-ok, but I wonder if she knows about the song?.. How must that feel to be the voice that launched a gazillion belters?

Well, even though I didn't find the balls to go talk with the one and only original Annie, I still had such a great time at that benefit. It was an honor to be asked and I loved every minute of it. And we popped Hunter, Susan, and Jeffy's Broadway cherries! Now that's somethin'! Next time I run into Andrea, I promise I'll challenge her to a belt-off...

In case you missed us in our young Republican Texas digs...

Bruce Glikas at Broadway.com snapped this picture of us backstage.

The last 48 hours have been crazzle-bedazzle.

Where to begin...

HOO-WAH-HOUSE

As you may well know, gentle readers, last night we appeared in The Actors Fund benefit concert of THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS (masterminded by Seth Rudetsky). I wasn't previously familiar with the show, so the last few days have been a real education. I LOVED sitting in rehearsals watching hot guys and gals dance around half-neked...this would be another great opportunity to get yerselves one of them time machines and zap yerself back to visit those rehearsals...they were HEE-YOT! There times during the Aggie dance when it literally smelled like the floor was smoking from the stomping and dancing. And watching Emily Skinner was really educational...in case you didn't know it: LADY CAN ACT. And listening to Jennifer Hudson SANG: HOLY JESUS, JESUS! Again, I feel as if I have won some insane contest where I am allowed crazy access to all manner of adventures. PLUS: I've had a well-documented girl-boner for Terrence "The Sheriff" Mann since he was the Rum Tum Tugger. How queer is that? About as queer as this.

When were fortunate enough to be asked to be in this benefit, I was told that it was a 45-second song, super simple, no bigs. Then we showed up for rehearsal. Holy. Shit. First of all, we were serving tight, 4-part barbershop harmonies, and we all know how loooong it takes mommy to learn her singy parts. Then, Denis Jones (who choreographed the ever-lovin' crap out of this concert) set a ballet du lampes de poche on us (that's a Flashlight Dance to you, Frenchie). Then Seth and the [tos] team applied a liberal helping of shenanigans. Turned out to be the most complicated 45 seconds I've ever performed.

So, yesterday at 10:30am, we reported to the August Wilson Theatre to mic up for our li'l WHOREHOUSE soundcheck. It sure was fun cow-poking around backstage and looking at all the JERSEY BOYS props and callboards and stuff. I can't finagle a ticket to that show, but I enjoyed going through Christian Hoff's private dressing room (JK'ing, Seth). Then we did our soundcheck on that big, beautiful Broadway stage.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching rehearsal and trying to learn our notes and steps. I'm telling you, kiddies, it was nervous-making. But when we came out on stage for our big 45 seconds, people clapped like they knew who we were (though I'm pretty sure those people were all of our friends).

In summary, I sang most (not all) of my notes correctly, I danced most (not all) of my steps correctly, and I said all my words without throwing up on myself. So that worked out pretty pretty pretty good. My only regret is that I didn't get to have my picture taken with Terrence Mann. I'm scared of people I don't know and he seemed so busy and I didn't want to bug him. So maybe next time, T-Mann...maybe next time. Til then, I'll have to make do with this photo, instead.

After the show, we all exited through the stage door. There was a group of autograph seekers and well-wishers behind a partition. A man with a big smile on his face beckoned me over. When I got near him, he leaned in and said, "Do you know if Terrence Mann has come out yet?"

Fresh.

I couldn't attend the big after-party cause I had to get up REALLY early this morning to shoot...

A MEEVIE!

That's right, kids. Mommy filmed a role in a major motion picture today. Here's the backstory:

The LaGravenese family (Richard, Ann and Lily) came to see [title of show] and they really seemed to like it. Mr. LaGravenese is a supes-fancy writer whose written lots of amazing screenplays (THE FISHER KING, BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, BELOVED, THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES...that bitch is NOT playing...AND he's nice, too!). He enjoyed the show enough to let Susie audition for his latest film. Then he gave her a juicy little part. Thank you, Mr. LaGravenese!

So, here's the jam: I woke up at 5:30 and hauled it down to Soho where they dressed me like an Upper-East-Side-Lady-Type. Then I spent the day browbeating my meevie husband (Michael Countryman) while Gina Gershon looked on and tried to keep me from ending Hilary Swank in an all-out girl brawl. It was pretty fun. I got to scream a lot. I accidentally stomped on Gina Gershon's toe with my pointy heel (sorry again, Gina Gershon). And I accidentally spit on Hilary Swank (alot) when I was screaming at her (sorry again, Hilary Swank). Another cool thing about my day at the meevie was Craig Pressgrove (brother of our own Larry Pressgrove) was the focus-puller on set! I'm used to seeing Craig in Larry's apartment, so it was very comforting to have his familiar face nearby.

********************

In conclusion, the last 48 hours have been a whirlwind adventure. I'd like to close by accepting this coveted Golden Pony and publicly thanking the following:

Seth Rudetsky for letting us be a part of the fancy Broadway crowd for a night.

Denis Jones for whipping total choreographic ass.

Seth, Denis and Larry P for your patient, caring work with the learning-impaired.

The Academy.

The T-Mann.

Richard and Ann LaGravenese for giving a small-town weirdo a chance to scream at (and spit on) Hilary Swank.

I also want to send a special shout-out to Lily LaGravenese for loving musical theatre and dragging her parents to see our skit. Thanks, lady. Good work.

I am going to end by thanking my husband because I'd like to think I've learned from past mistakes. Chad, you're my everything. Thank you for your support. It means the world.

And lastly, I thank the [title of show] golden pony for pooping out such magical adventures.

Til next time...

Calm down, calm down. No, the show isn't on Broadway, but Larry, Susan, Hunter and I made our Bway debuts last night at the Whorehouse concert. Heidi has already been there and done that. What a great day. We met a gazillion fantastic and talented people. Cheer New York was fun to hang out with along with Bob Martin, Richard Kind, and some aggieboys - Jeff Lewis, Bret Shuford, Dennis Stowe, Will Taylor, and some whores: Jen Cody, Felicia Finley, Angie Schworer, some Jersey Boys: Peter Gregus and Dan Reichart and we also got to chat with Jennifer Hudson, [tos] fan Emily Skinner and so many excellent creative folks like Mark Hoebee and Denis Jones. An all-around great day of eating sandwiches at Roseland and watching people put on a lot of whore make-up (cheer boys included). The party at John's Pizza was nice, too. I know they're famous for their pizza, but you need to try some of their meatballs the next time you're in there. Well done, John. I like your balls. I didn't have my camera with me or I would've taken some pics to post, but I was too busy learning flashlight choreography and shootin' the shit.

lord have mercy on our souls! So [tos] has a fun project. We are featured in the upcoming Actors Fund Benefit on Monday Oct.16th of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" We had play practice today and it was supes fun. Lars, Heids, Sus, Huns, and Jeffs were kicking four part harms with lars rocking the accordian. Our bud Seth Rudestky is putting this whole bad boy together. Seth is pretty amazing. Not only is he way funny, but his work to raise money and put these events together is mindblowing. We are so honored to get to be in it with so many Broadway fancies, Choreographer and cutie Denis Jones has us twirling the flashlights and doing some moves. We had to get together and practice after school so we don't suck. Anyway full report to come about our experience but just had to give a taste. Spotted at rehearsal today. Constantine from Idol, Bob Martin and Roxanne Barlow...all the biggies people!

Side note...get your tix for Seth's Broadway 101 show on November 6th if you're in or near the city...this will be a big night and you guys don't want to miss it. It gets the [tos] seal of goodhousekeeping.

Time for bed...Whorehouse in the morning.

Word.

So "speller" Barrett, along with "tossers": Benjamin, Hunter and me ventured off to Six Flags Great Adventure on Columbus Day and here's some highlights of the trip.

First off (actually it's Second off, because I've already used First), we got to the rental car at 8 am and had a box of Dunkin Donuts for the road. Trip was fast. We were there in less than 90 minutes in line for the flash pass that would get us on all the rides much easier and it gave us the VIP feel that we so-require when we're out on adventures.

We did a quick run on Batman which was nice because we had to pop Hunter's cherry a little bit 'cause he was supah nervous. Here's he and Benj in line. After that, we went over to Nitro - such a beautiful coaster. Here we are before we got on. I wish I would have kept the camera rolling because Hunter full-on started crying on the ride. No joke. Our HB was really scared.



Next we ran around like fools and rode the crap out of everything. Here's us in line at Superman - Ultimate Flight:


This is the funniest moment of the day. We got on a little kiddie ride called "Tango" to kill some time while we were waiting for some of the bigger rides and Hunter managed to get the most sick on this teeny thing. Watch Hunter's expression go from fun-times to sickness-within. Here's a picture of the ride so you can see how baby it is. Enjoy:


Our favorite ride was 'El Toro" which is their new wooden roller coaster. Soooo smooth and creamy! Enjoy the simulated ride below:


We rode several other amazing and not so amazing coasters. We revisited Batman and snuck in the back of the ride. Foa managed to sneak ahead of us and see if all was clear at the exit, so we snuck in the back. No one expected such sneakiness from 4 attractive gay boys at the park. Well maybe the "in the back" part. JEFFREY! This is a family blog!! There are children reading this! Honestly.

Anyway, later, this guy tried to kill Barrett. Side note: Hunter why are you so close to that scary dude? It's not Johnny Depp. Or is it? Then we ate a bunch of ice cream and funnel cakes and got really tired and happy and drove home and slept our asses off. Awesome day!!

I'm back from Ohio, bitches. I bring you a photo-expose of my adventures, beginning with closing night:

So, we closed our show. It was festive and melancholy (felancholy, if you will). We had to say goodbye to our mics, our water bottles, our chairs and our beautiful theatre. Our Producers threw a really nice party. (Thank you, Producers! That was awesome!!) Some of my favorite girls were there. Then, the very next day, they struck our set...suckwad.

Then I jumped on a plane and travelled to Ohio. My niece was kind enough to let me stay in her room, so I had plenty of ponies to keep me company. I also got to see plenty of real, live animals while I was there. I saw goats, piggies, sheepies, and many sizes of cows.

I visited my undergrad alma mater (Wright State University), where I had been cast in lots of roles that I was too young to play. I spoke with their Senior acting majors. God bless 'em, I rambled on for about 1 1/2 hours. One girl nodded off (just seeing if you were still with me). I encouraged the people around her to let her sleep, but as I was doing so, she woke up (Just checking. Again).

Then I went to visit my beautiful friend Nicole at her beautiful store, Preen Apothecary. Next time you're in Southwestern Ohio, do yourself a favor and visit Preen. It's got everything you need to look and smell like a dreamboat. Plus, Nicole is superfun to talk to.

Then Nicole and I drove to Indianapolis to meet the baby Cooper for the first time. Remember the Super Coopity Doopity? Last time we saw him, he was peeing in his onesy. Now he's got a real job and he's pulling down six figs...he even got him one of those Ski-Doos for his lake house. Nah, just kidding. He's still little, but bigger than ever. What a punk.

I did lots of other stuff: hung out with the fam, crunched in the leafies, slept for hours on end. And now I'm back. It's really starting to hit me that I don't get to go to the theatre and do the show with my friends. It's also starting to hit me that I don't have a good excuse to not clean the house any more. Quel bummer.

Looking ahead, we're appearing (briefly) in the WHOREHOUSE benefit next week (to benefit some type of whorehouse, I guess...I need to get to the bottom of that one). Then I'm shooting a delicious little role in a movie (more on that, for sure).

Til next we meet, I offer you this for your enjoyment.

Jeff and Hunter have just finished baking and eating a chocolate cake and watched three episodes of Wonder Woman, one which featured Shields and Yarnell. Good stuff people. Robert Alda also appeared on that episode as "Mr. Harcourt." Mr. Alda was of course Broadway's first "Sky Masterson". Also, an episode featured Sheryl Lee Ralph. It was fun to imagine her in 1979 not knowing that she would be Deena Jones in a couple of years. We also got to see Sarah Purcell (Real People, anyone??? Anyone?? Fred Willard? Skip Stevenson?? Peter Billingsly?? -- good show peeps), Rick Springfield as a mime-clown-rocker in a red pant suit, and finally a young Judge Reinhold. Where the eff is he? Too much cake. Up too late. We went to low tea tonight and ended up buying a bunch of gay clothing at the local shop here called "Index". Shit was crazy on sale. Penguin shirts for $15, Triple 5 soul jacket for $20. Crazy steals. Lots of panties and shirts, too. Gay.

What else? Um, Susan is in Ohio and we got a text from Heids today. Where's Larry? Larry, what are you doing? Are you in New York? Are you drinkin' a diet coke right now? I betcha are.

We've said enough. Enjoy this picture.

Hello from California!! I may not be in New York either, but I still got m'finger on the pulse of BroadWAY...

A big cheer for our director/choreographer, Michael Berresse for opening in his big Broadway show, A Chorus Line, last night. As if [title of show] isn't meta enough, Michael decided to intensify his experience even more and play another director/choreographer in perhaps the most beloved Broadway musical of all time. Michael, you're life must be really weird right now...

A little fun fact - When we were in rehearsals for [title of show], Michael made us stand in a line with our headshots in front of our faces for HOURS. Well, Jeffy didn't have a headshot at that time, so he used his drivers license, but it was still very effective. He would ask us, "What would you do if you couldn't [title of show] anymore?" It still sends shivers down my spine...

We're so proud of you and I can't wait to come see you boss other people around. Is it possible to actually sit next to you in the house while your being Zach? I want that seat.

Doesn't mean I can't blog.

Much.

I just drove past the giant butter Jesus. I like to imagine that he's standing on the bottom of that (really deep) lake. Or buried up to his waist in silt. But I'm not worried about him. He's Jesus. He can get out of that deep, silty lake whenever he feels like it.

In other news, tomorree I'm going to go hang out at my undergrad alma mater (shout out to Wright State, beetches!) and talk to the Senior acting majors. I'm going to bug the teacher to let us have massage day in class. Or maybe pester him to have class outside. Just like the old days. In the evening, it's dinner with the parents and then a bit of college theatre. Delicious.

It just rained and the air smells really fresh out here. I'm hoping to sleep as much as possible this week. After closing the show, mommy is tired.

More soon from the heartland...

Hi tossers. Some of you may know that Heidi is on the west coast, Hunter is on a train, I am on an island and Susan is somewhere in middle America - as we are all taking our vacation escapes this week. there will be limited blogging from all of us, i'm sure. lars, court and benj -- you 3 have to take up the slack.

i just completed my model train jigsaw puzzle and i'm going jogging in a minute, but first i wanted to blog and say that i'm riding out the waves of emotion after letting go of our show on sundeee. it was so great to see everyone that made it to the show and the emails/letters/myspace words have all be overwhelming from the friend/families/fans.

i have some specifics that i'll be blogging about soon. a certain giver of a certain cast recording cd is winning the prize as most awesome tosser in my book. you know who you are.

why did i abandon caps after the first couple of sentences?

Hey, remember this?

Jeff and I posed questions in the comments section and Paul Broussard has answers...

From: Paul Broussard
To: fan@titleofshow.com
Subject: Pippin dialogue

[tos]ees:

The script to Pippin says, during the talking section of "Magic to Do":

(The song develops into a dance of sorts. It involves all kinds of
magic tricks, etc., all the things that PLAYERS have ever done to
attract and hold an audience)

There are no references to liking or needing shoes; but Catherine,
Pippin's lover, is attracted to the arch of his foot, saying that "the
arch of his foot really was in a class by itself."

That's as close as you're going to get.

Cheers,
Paul Broussard
Co-Host, Stage & Screen
WTUL New Orleans
91.5 FM

Thanks, Paul! That's awesome! I like to imagine that she came up with that line after a summer of extensive character study.

It happened, people. We shut her down. But I'm not here to dwell on the past. I'm here to look towards the future...

In honor of my pending trip to see my Ohio family and friends, I offer you this article from the NY Times. I will drive past this about 72 times during my visit. I always thought it was carved out of pure, creamery butter. Turns out I was mistaken.

Enjoy...

********************

Oh Ohio Flatland, a Megachurch's Eye-Catcher Dominates

The New York Times
By CHRIS Maag
Published: November 17, 2005

Jesus first appears in a flash, a white statue rising from the flat cornfields 40 miles north of Cincinnati. Then he is gone, hidden behind a gas station.

Drive another quarter-mile up Interstate 75, past the billboards for Bristol's Strip Club and Trader's World Flea Market, and suddenly the image appears in all its full dimensions. Jesus, depicted from the waist up, is six stories tall and seems to burst from the ground, as if he might gather a tractor-trailer in his Honda-size hands and lift it to heaven.

After dark, the figure is illuminated by spotlights from below. ''It sort of looms out at you, especially at night,'' said Aaron Andrews, a trucker from Milwaukee.

The statue, erected in 2003, was the inspiration of Lawrence and Darlene Bishop, evangelical Christian pastors of the 3,400-member Solid Rock Church here, which spent $250,000 on a project that did not go smoothly.

The image's steel frame was built in nearby Lebanon, Ohio, and the body, made of Styrofoam and fiberglass, on the beach in Jacksonville, Fla. The body was then trucked north. But when workers started installing the statue on an island in a man-made reflecting pool behind the church, they found that the head and arms were too small for the chest.

The builder, James Lynch, then spent three months ripping the fiberglass apart and recasting the outstretched arms and upturned face. The completed figure weighs 16,000 pounds and, at 62 feet, stands 20 feet taller than originally planned, though its skin is so thin that it bends to the touch of a finger.

Some congregants say the statue keeps watch over a section of freeway that was once among the most dangerous in Ohio. Twelve people died along that 15-mile stretch of I-75 in the two years before the image was erected, eight of them killed after cars jumped the median into oncoming traffic. Since the statue went up more than two years ago, there have been no such crossover deaths.

''Can't too much go wrong next to a big statue of Jesus*,'' said one member of the church, James Nelms, 23.

Officials at the Ohio Department of Transportation attribute the improved safety to a $1.1-million high-tension cable that the department built in the freeway's median about the time, coincidentally, that the statue was erected. Cars have hit the cable 183 times since then, and in three of those cases, crashes have occurred within three-tenths of a mile of the church.

There is also a running disagreement over the statue's name. Postcards for sale in the church's gift shop refer to it as the King of Kings. Many locals call it Touchdown Jesus, since, a bit like the famed mural at the University of Notre Dame, it resembles a robed and bearded referee signaling a score at the goal line. Others call it Super Jesus, MC 62ft Jesus (for the technomusician of a similar name) or simply Big J.

The Bishops' original idea was for a sculpture of Jesus that was no larger than life-size. That it turned into something much bigger than envisioned was entirely apt, given the couple's own lives.

Mr. Bishop, now 63, was born in the Appalachian village of Zag, Ky. He bought his first horse for $25 at the age of 10 and, though it was blind, sold it for $250 and went on to become one of the nation's biggest quarter horse dealers.

He opened Solid Rock Church with 12 members above a fire station in 1978. Together with his wife, he built it into a megachurch on a 100-acre campus with its own Bible college and music amphitheater.

Four years ago Mr. Bishop wrote his first song, for church. Now he has recorded five hits. On Nov. 10, he went to Nashville to perform at the Christian Country Music Awards Show. He was nominated for three awards, and won one of them, as music evangelist of the year.

As for Mrs. Bishop, who dropped out of high school at 17 to marry him, she now has her own Christian talk show for women, called ''Sisters,'' which appears nationally seven days a week on various cable television channels.

Solid Rock Church, with its atmosphere of unplanned gigantism, is one of the few places where a 62-foot statue of Jesus could fit right in. In March, the Bishops squeezed a 1,000-seat balcony into their worship hall to accommodate all the new members who have joined their rapidly growing church in the last two years.

''God ordained all of this to happen,'' Mr. Bishop said. ''I never even wanted to be a preacher.''

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Word.

*Someone please stitch that onto a couch pillow for me.

Part of Dreading the Day...

Dread it all you want, people. Today's the day. Truly a combo platter of feelings.

I want to thank all the people who have been sending us good wishes. We truly appreciate the kind sentiments that many of you have shared. And nothing expresses those sentiments more clearly than TREATS!!:

Thanks to the Mervine's for this kickass flowery fruit basket!

Thanks to Rachel Ayers and the Vineyard for our delicious roach cakes!

(Served with Roach Water, naturally...just the way God intended it.)

Thanks to Christopher Gurr for the cornucopia of treats that he sent from the tour of SPAMALOT. You know that Gurr is making good money on that contract...those treats didn't buy themselves, for godsake.

And thanks to everyone for the wonderful cards, emails and gifts. Thanks to everyone who travelled to see our show (from Midtown or Los Angeles or Australia). Special thanks to Chris Smith for the cool, personalized books you shared with us.

It's time to get ready to go to the theatre. We'll see you on the other side...

I can't believe today is the last day. Like Hunter, I have so many emotions running amuck in me. Who knows what [title of show]'s next step will be, but one thing is pretty certain - it won't be at the Vineyard. We've had the most amazing time at our home away from home. Do you guys know that when we were dreaming of the dreamiest place for [title of show], we all had the Vineyard at the top of all our dream lists? We never thought we would actually get to do our play there... And then we squeezed our little golden pony, and it pooped out our dreamiest wish. That golden pony is awesome. You have to get one.

It's been our honor being at the Vineyard Theatre. As we come to our last 2 shows today, I feel hopeful that our show will have another life (see Larry's beautiful blog below), but it won't be nestled in our mamma Vineyard's breast. I have loved every second there and all the amazing Vine-nerds that took such good care of us and our show. We really love you guys and we will miss you so much.

Oct 1...1:30 am couldn't sleep. My family is in town for the big closing which is awsome. Just have a million thoughts in my head about the closing day at the Vineyard. We will give you tossers a full recap of the closing weekend, but maybe to ease the pain of the final Vineyard [tos]..you all should know that we intend to keep the blog fresh post Oct 1. I better go to bed so I can sing grood later today.

"And now we...have to let go..."